What does being “In The Moment” really mean?

Today I made a fantastic distinction around Diversity = Dynamic

One of the challenges of sharing ideas in family, team, and community – is we can experience control or get upset and regularly come away feeling confused by another person’s strong point of view around systems, a project or start-ups. I believe this is attributed to our different styles of thinking, not learning. We each go through our own unique thought process to come up with our interpretation of a situation.

These interpretations are expressed by the way our personal neuro pathways are fired up in the brain; an array of electrical impulses and connections that help you to express yourself. And yes, I know we have all heard about all the different learning styles, but this is different.

What I am talking about here is “how do we stay present with each other without being dominated by one person’s particular thinking process?” I believe the reason for all the discord or control in relationships, be they personal or professional and even cultural and community are due to this very thing.

I term this behaviour ‘the thinking wars’ – Dominance = Disconnect.

However, where we need to move to as a species is – Diversity = Dynamic

And of course this all sounds good on paper or on a wiz bang power point, but how do we do it in real time, real life? We must be willing to cross the bridge with one another, we literally have to drop out of our thinking for a moment or two and connect to the intelligence of our heart.

If each person present can accept that the only way they can truly understand each other and make a valuable contribution, is through a genuine heart to heart connection, this is in fact what empowers people. Because the real power is when and where lasting trust is built. Truth is, we are never going to really understand the way another person thinks because we are not that person.

Moreover, we most certainly can connect with each other through our aligned values, which are born from the heart.

Our aligned values are what make up the unbreakable connections, which can form this powerful and effective Diversity = Dynamic bridge.

The new wave of relationship in business is emerging: where people adopt a very different, but progressive model of teamwork… Because it will be through our surrender to the power of the heart that we will experience the benefits of cordial collaboration, social synergy, cohesive community and contributing more than money.

So, my dear humans take heed…

HEART to HEART CONNECTION is the currency of the FUTURE. 

The great news is, we all have one!


TEL: 040 330 9696

What is New Style Leadership?

Why is New Style Leadership necessary today?

How can New Style Leadership succeed in the real world?

New Style Leadership is not based on the old model of just seeing results; the old bottom line system address’ only one aspect of the whole process. While the New Style Leader focuses on staying in a unity-based context, which defines and gives structure to the role of the New Style Leader as a co-creator.

The first step in becoming a New Style Leader is saying YES to the call…

What does that mean?

A New Style Leader knows that social and spiritual awareness are one in the same and play a large part in being an effective leader. Saying yes to the call is actually saying yes to your conviction as a social and spiritual entrepreneur.

People may say “but I am not socially active and I am not particularly spiritual either”. Let’s view the idea of social and spiritual – there are many definitions in the dictionary that describe spiritual, many of which are focused on religion. I suggest this is not the case for most people in society.

Here are three definitions, which I believe are how many people view the idea of being social and spiritual today.

Definition – Social

  • Pertaining to, devoted to, or characterized by friendly companionship or relations.
  • Living or inclined to live in companionship with others or in a community, rather than in isolation.
  • Have or pertaining to the life, welfare, and relations of human beings in a community.

Definition – Spiritual

  • Relating to, consisting of, or having the nature of spirit; not tangible or material.
  • Pertaining to having a spirit or soul, different from the physical nature.
  • Having a relationship based on a profound level of mental or emotional unity, pertaining to a refined and higher quality of emotions and actions.

What I am suggesting here is the idea of being dedicated to social and spiritual awareness, which are at the heart of every New Style Leader and one cant create long-term effective change in the world without these two very powerful and necessary elements.


Social and Spiritual  

We have turned to many metaphor duets over time and Social and Spiritual can indeed come under that category.

Here are just a few popular examples – as above/so below, within/without and the micro/the macro. The connection between Social and Spiritual awareness plays an important part in our human experience, we are much more than our immediate world of material matter, we are also made up of our inner more sensitive world of emotions, which are connected to our thoughts, feelings, desires, and visions for a promising future.

However, the moment one starts to talk in these terms, their audience often becomes dismissive, defensive, and disagreeable. Perhaps that’s because people have thought you must keep social and spiritual concepts separate.

But what if keeping them separate has actually created many of the hardships we are facing today. I believe there is no separation between social and spiritual; unfortunately, humanity is repeatedly creating this illusion of separation, which is supporting our unstable and disturbing reality.


The New Style Leaders role requires bringing these two worlds/realities; social and spiritual together. It doesn’t involve becoming a preacher or religious person. All it requires is the desire to cultivate a promising future for humanity, one where both social and spiritual needs are met and respected.

It is acknowledging, honoring, and participating in the process of creation…

Every culture throughout early civilization was centered on a creation myth of some kind. A creation myth (or creation story) is a cultural, traditional or religious myth, which describes the earliest beginnings of the present world. Creation myths are the most common form of myth, usually developing first in oral traditions, and are found throughout human culture. A creation myth is usually regarded as conveying profound truths, although not necessarily in a historical or literal sense.

They are cosmology myths, which describe the ordering of the cosmos from a state of chaos or nothingness. What I am suggesting is that all human culture was originally based on similar concepts, like the social and spiritual connection. This is not a new or unusual concept; perhaps we have just forgotten the nature of our origins. I’m not saying we need to return to such ancient practices, but rather we can draw on these ideas that were unity-based.


Here are three simple definitions that I believe are aligned to the social and spiritual model of leadership. I see the concept and application of creation and co-creation as being a very valuable tool in our world today.

Definition – Creation

  • The act or process of creating.
  • Something that has been brought into existence or created.
  • The act of creating or engendering; give rise to.

These three neutral definitions of creation also provide a great platform from which to form a new and stronger style of leadership. The idea of creation is the combination of being in the continuous process of social and spiritual activity. Creation could, in fact, be the process and the result of how we grow as human beings.

We are creation its self, so through the process of becoming socially and spiritually creative, it enhances our ability to create even more. Creating a new, creating together, creating social systems and creating spiritually sound relationships. This is how we grow a vibrant and creative new humanity.

I don’t see an end to the process, but rather it requires a commitment to stay in the process until your time is up; your personal life cycle is complete. We need to stay in a continuous process of creation in order for the new humanity to remain just that; it must always remain in a state of new.

New Style Leaders collectively have the what, why, how and vision to respond to the call of creation.

So, in conclusion, I suggest that social and spiritual are actually one of the same and do need to co-exist. We require social structures that have a sound unity-based context, in order for the refined qualities of our human spirit to be creative and fully expressed. The New Style Leader is committed to maintaining and repairing the social and spiritual fabric of humanity. The New Style Leader is prepared to stay in the process of creation for as long as it takes to fulfill their life’s purpose.

If we are able to observe the perfected patterns of nature; Creation, desirable results form organically and the true nature of success takes up its rightful place in community and humanity.

From a paper written by Elizabeth Ellames | Oct 2013

083ElizabethEllames 2 copy 2 3



Our Story Creates Identity And Connection

Storytelling is the way we build our identity as human beings. And the weavers of those stories come in the form of traditional archetypes.

Ultimately the memories we choose to tell form carefully placed scenes of our story; which then inform our life purpose.

We are what we share and we only share if we care –

So, it’s simply inappropriate to brush off our experiences as dull or insignificant. How we choose to connect to our stories is what makes an interesting meaningful story arc.

What we choose to say and share is extremely important, whether its last weeks school graduation as a meaningful event, the birth of a child or the death of a loved one as a turning point, it doesn’t matter what the event, but rather it’s the essence, the emotion, the spirit that’s expressed about the moment that really matters.

Finding a genuine, formative moment in your story is always going to be a powerful and valuable contribution to your reader or audience. Our stories are what teach us and guide us toward our humanity.

Do you have a story that needs to be shared?

WHY we need STORY

animals-avian-beach-760984We long for connection with all that is curious and creative.

We are creatures who belong to each other for reasons beyond analysis, for it is our heart’s desire and our life’s dream to fulfill a worthy story.

We ache with a need to connect and create or sadly the other is we become numb and silently indifferent.

Yet it is the never-ending and renewed STORY that is forever wanting to grow through us… I urge you, dear storytellers of our time, to be at one with its magical forces. For in truth there is nothing but Story, it is what teaches us and what sustains us as human beings. STORY informs our purpose, but more importantly, it gives humanity its Soul.

– Elizabeth Ellames

Do you have a story wanting to grow through you?

Give it to me NOW!

Grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference.  

This is the number one mantra used in Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) and a great tool for those struggling with any emotional addictions or substance addictions.  


Let’s have a think about this All the reasons why we cant respond to our heart’s desire are basically not true, and only feed our emotional addictions or our need for control… which we often hide behind.

Our ‘collective shadow-side’ has been running amuck for a long time and needs some serious transformation. We can either keep feeding its addiction or acknowledge its presence and decide to transform it into its full GLORY.

New Style Leadership is a vehicle of liberation and illumination Not a game of comparing and competition.

Wouldn’t it be great if we could collectively “correct and transform” the following;






Most people live with one or all of these addictions every day…. we can use this information to keep stuck in our old story/addiction or we can use it as a driver toward a new style of leadership.

Let’s transform our psyche from FADE to FLOURISH

So, if we have an addictive nature (and I believe all humans have) let’s change our addiction to one that works positively for all of us.

We could turn our “re-active impulse” into our soul’s “creative impulse”: Our Life Purpose

You know, that thing we just can’t live without… let our Obedient Heart be our compass of JOY… let joy become our fix, our next hit.

I have a burning desire to activate as many people as possible, so they can truly prosper in their glowing authenticity.

If this is my creative impulse, my positive addiction, bring it on… I want it now, give it to me, give it to me NOW!

What is it that’s driving your passionate desires?

new header FB (1)


TEL: 040 330 9696


Establishing Equitable Exchange

The Key To Valuable Relationships And Good Business

Many years ago Indians of the Chesapeake Bay and Carolina Sounds regions participated in a gift-exchange economy. Rather than the trading or selling of goods in exchange of something for something, as the Europeans did, they gave gifts.

Such offerings appeared to involve something for nothing, but they did actually require return gifts, presented at a later date. In fact, Indians lived by the rule and promise to give, accept, and reciprocate, and failure to fulfill any part of the transaction might lead to various forms of punishment.

Those participating in the gift economy prized relationships over things, and as a result, the identity of who owed a debt was of far more importance than what was owed. Furthermore, goods were not individually owned in a gift society; they continued to be circulated among the community and often ended up as offerings to the Spirit World.

Just as successful gift exchange pulled groups together, failed gift offerings often pushed people apart, resulting in hostilities. Although the rules and consequences of gift economies varied by culture, they followed a general pattern.

The failure to give, accept, and reciprocate dissolved the bond between exchange partners and routinely resulted in a separation between the individuals or groups. This abandonment was not immediate, because gift exchange required that a certain amount of time elapse between the initial offering and reciprocation.

This sort of established exchange of energy/goods wasn’t exclusive to North American Indians; in fact, it was common practice in most ancient cultures all around the world.

I call this practice Established Equitable Exchange and believe it is to do with acknowledging quality, principles, resonance, value and the importance of creativity.

The exchange of the “gift” was for the purpose of creating a connection between people within the community; this built strong relationships, which had a sound energetic value.

These relationships were, in fact, contributing on many levels of reality. This history very clearly states that it was not about what was given, but rather the quality and intention of who was giving it.

This suggests the creative process was of great importance; the ancients understood that when they were creating things of beauty, they were actually in touch with the forces of creation; the Creator.

Creating and giving something that was of no real value was offensive not only to the community but it was also offending God. Not to mention how the receiving of gifts without then establishing an appropriate and equitable level of exchange was also inappropriate.

This presents the idea that on many levels, the lack of reciprocating also would have been viewed as very offensive to the giver… Physically, Emotionally and Spiritually; this is how the ancients operated, they lived a much more expanded view of life than we do today.

I think these exchange principles are still there today; they are buried deep, deep beneath the layers of many years of cultural misinterpretation.

And I am confidently using this example because I believe the lack of Established Equitable Exchange is the number one factor that drives all relationships and business agreements to their edge of destruction. When we feel out of exchange we will in time…  give up, walk away or just back out.

So what does this all mean?

Try this on for size… When there is not enough energetic current running between the exchange points… it will find another point to connect to in order to maintain its currency; that’s the law of energy exchange. And after all that is what science keeps telling us “Everything is Energy”.

Might sound to simple to be true… well I know when someone keeps taking, taking, taking from me energetically, or they keep giving me crappy stuff in return, that is the time I re-treat, recognize, and re-connect with a currency that values me and is of value. We are not talking about objects here, you can see how it can cross over into people’s behaviors as well; it is ever-present in the way we relate to each other.

If we know who we are, what our value is and what our contribution needs to be there is no lack or excess. And with that type of consciousness comes a natural flow of prosperity…

The fundamentals have always been there; the amount of lack and excess in our world today has confused us. The extremes are enough to make anyone go a little crazy…

I think it is time to remember what we know deep down in our cells, which is, that we can all survive if we establish an equitable exchange of energy. This is the only way we can nourish and flourish a new humanity.

For many years now we have been living distorted versions of these so call truths…

“What’s in it for me”

“No such thing as a free lunch”

These kinds of statements have contributed to a false energetic economy.

Truth is we do need to pay it forward at some point… if we all Establish Equitable Exchange with our family, friends and our business relationships the pristine quality of the energy/frequency generated from that exchange would rapidly spread worldwide creating more peace and prosperity than ever before.

Now that’s worth some concentrated effort I say!!

What are your thoughts on the idea?

Elizabeth Ellames

(note: I actually wrote this back in 2013, but felt I needed to re-post today)

Categorized as Lets Talk

What is Visionary Leadership?

Abstract blurred people in night market or open street market for background

A Vision…

when written down along with a date becomes a GOAL 

A Goal… 

that is then broken up into steps becomes a PLAN

A Plan…

when backed by ACTION becomes

A Reality!!

But it all starts with a Dream, an Idea or a VIsion, and that is simply why we need Visionary Leadership.

If you are a visionary by nature, embrace it – and if you’re not enrol them on your team because it takes many minds, each bringing forth their talents to make a vision a reality. 


Categorized as Lets Talk

Real Deal Power

Slide10Many female leaders mistakenly try to balance the shortcomings of dominant leadership by “over-relying” on their passive leadership tools such as empathy and collaboration. But getting people together to figure out what their Primary Vision is and what it needs, can easily lead to more confusion.

It can also weaken the power of women who may be misplacing their emotional intelligence when it’s their practical intelligence that will really make the difference.

However, a new style leader needs to demonstrate their Real Deal Power and cut through the confusion by constantly “simplifying the complexities” that are presented.

  • She is able to articulate the big picture and the necessary priorities using an array of simple directive statements, not commands or demands, but rather discerning and objective distinctions.
  • She always links her actions to the urgent needs of the project at hand and the culture of the company or team.
  • She can articulate the strategic plans of the project as clearly as a CEO.
  • She states what must be done immediately and has a question such as, “Does it make sense to you all that we replace our program development reviews with short, biweekly feedback sessions since people need a constant flow of coaching to stay focused on emerging priorities?”

And it’s wise to remember not to open any of these clarifying questions with a “Why”, because this can often imply that there is a level of judgment present and may bring about even more confusion.

Slide14This technique of making recommendations in the form of a question consistently raises her position of effective power. Her questions frame the discussion and contain compelling “if-then and what next” logic. It also helps her not fall into the trap of either complaining about or insisting on a change she wants to make.

This technique is not trivial.

There is plenty of research that confirms when women try to exert power using the same techniques as dominant males they actually reduce their power and influence and become labeled as “overly aggressive or worse…”

To sum it up, if we want to increase our power girls, we need to simplify confusion, clarify priorities, and lead people to follow us by asking them the appropriate “what’s next” or “where next” questions.

Above all adopt a real deal leadership approach. Don’t wait for orders and don’t spend your life trying to achieve other people’s goals.

Your ideas and goals are more than likely the Real Deal… So, You Go Girl!

Brand Development Through Narrative And Archetypes

The truth is a brand story is nothing new…

What is new though, is the challenge to communicate the same story across an ever-changing media landscape – And the real point of difference is that traditional archetypes will always be central to effective brand storytelling, regardless of the medium.

shutterstock_231366088 - Version 2

Can you identify which theme runs through your story?

The Quest: Similar to the Hero’s Journey, the quest is about progression/maturation. The main character stumbles across several persistent obstacles that must be overcome to progress along the journey/story. (Frodo in Lord of the Rings) (Luke in Star Wars)

Rags to Riches: From pauper to prince or princess, the rags-to-riches archetype is well known. Brands/people will often use his or her own story or even a founder’s story with this in mind. (Oprah Winfrey) (Pretty Women/Movie)

Tragedy: The tragedy archetype — which relies on a tragic flaw, moral weakness, and/or deep suffering and is not often used for brand storytelling and most stay far away from it. But if you can do it well – it’s a very powerful expression of truth and transparency.

Rebirth: Mad Men was a modern user of the rebirth archetype. This 8-year series relied on a familiar pattern: 1) the hero or heroine is threatened, 2) the threat looms large, 3) the protagonists are imprisoned by the threat, 4) all seems lost, 5) at last, redemption, which often requires an about-face by the hero. (Don in Mad Men)

Comedy: Among the most memorable and popular stories are comedies. Characters are thrown into a state of confusion, darkness, and bewilderment — and resolution comes when constricting factors have been played to their extremes. While they are an audience favorite, comedies are one of the hardest to execute. There are so many brands in this category… here is just one. (Bridget Jones’s Diary)

Overcoming the Beast/Monster: This story expresses how we must become part God and Human; overcoming the monster is a common pattern. It’s the story of the disadvantaged hero who is confronted by an evil larger than him or herself. To defeat this evil or overcome their fear, the central character requires enormous courage, strength, and perception. (Like the movies Avatar and Terminator)

Passage & Return: This is the advancement from naïveté to knowledge. Alice in Wonderland is the prototypical example; this archetype pattern is similar to the quest, but with a difference in structuring. (Chronicles of Narnia and The Golden Compass)

A story that uses archetypes offers an audience a reliable backstory with a familiar rhythmic pattern that connects to our emotions and taps into our basic desires as social creatures, and brands that suggest or set these fundamental scenes, place themselves above and beyond the usual landscape of branding and marketing.

Contact me today and turn your story into an extraordinary story!

Email – elizabeth.ellames@ozemail.com.au 

For more great insights on why we tell stories – check out Christopher Booker’s book THE SEVEN BASIC PLOTS 

Categorized as Lets Talk

Oh yeah… Its Christmas

Well it is that time of the year again… Christmas.

Some people love it, others hate it and others just do it.

Which category do you fall under?

I like to view my Christmas as a sacred time, a time to celebrate all I have achieved in terms of correcting and transforming my life.

The Christmas Tree in our home is likened to the Tree of Life and its decorations are seen as symbolic gestures, which mark different eras in our time together as a family. The trimming of the tree and making the Christmas Pudding are a tradition that are always upheld with much delight.

Of course both of these practices are common place in many homes, and can often lose meaning, so for me I feel it is important to add our own family culture to the mix. We can slip into the empty habit of just doing a job and moving on to the next task at hand. That is indeed the way of our busy world. But Christmas marks a time in the year to truly create, celebrate and contribute.

I encourage you to embrace Christmas with delight:

Create the space in your life to be creative.

Celebrate and share the joy in your heart with your family, friends and community.

Contribute in ways that add value, come to the table with a gift that really counts; your “generosity of spirit”. It is worth so much more than anything you can buy. Start a heartfelt conversation and initiate acts of kindness where judgement would usually be.

These simple unity based principles are what Christmas is really about… The birth of the Holy Child is alive in every human being. And Christmas is a wonderful time to celebrate our life together as children of our Holy Mother, Planet Earth.

We can be restful and respectful as we unite, and in this sacred union we are reminded that we are The Holy Family.

And would like to also add that the video below of Happy Christmas by John and Yoko was released in 1971 – And we do indeed need to be living the mantra “war is over, if you want it!”.

Time and change are our constant reminder that nothing stays the same. They bring home the heartfelt memories of what really matter to us in our life.

May PEACE be your heartfelt intention this Christmas and everyday. We can use our collective consciousness to create PEACE, before we charge our glasses and say Merry Christmas, perhaps we could share a heart to heart prayer for real PEACE on EARTH.

I choose to be the REAL DEAL this Christmas and Unite My Light where ever I can for PEACE….