How to live an extraordinary life?

There’s lots of information out there today about how important it is to have a vibrant personal and professional brand?

But what does that really mean?

And how do you get there? 

I have explored years of personal development with my clients and on myself, but nothing beats applying “The Process Of Story” – It is indeed the most powerful personal development and branding exercise I have ever experience.

The real secret to developing a great brand is indeed ‘Owning the value of your STORY’ because it’s your story that informs your purpose, and it’s your purpose that informs your brand, in fact, your brand is your purpose!

This is my story of how I changed my life for the better… how I moved from a ‘nice life’ to an ‘extraordinary life’ enriched with mastery.

I Committed To Knowing My Self – I first needed to really know what my gifts were, which required identifying my archetypical patterning. Because it was through the process of recognizing my archetypes and values that I learned who I really was, which then lead to what I had to offer.

I Decided To Trust My Self – The next step was clarifying my shadow attributes and in doing so, I began to trust myself even more, by highlighting some of these attributes I started to see where I had been operating out of alignment. In a nutshell, I got to see in my life what was working and what wasn’t working, which gave me the clarity and courage to correct and transform persistent and unproductive behaviors. This new practice accelerated my trust in myself and built a lasting confidence in the benefits of my new awareness and actions. I began to see how everything in life was connected. 

I Discovered My Story – I created a gentle pause in my current life so I could reflect on my life gone by, and wholeheartedly began to write my story – Where I had come from and who had contributed to my life, both good and bad. I took time over it, making sure what came forth was indeed leading me to see why I was here, where gifts would be of value and who I could best serve.

I Discovered My Purpose – I then got very specific about what, why, who and how I was going to add value and by the way, this is everyone’s purpose is in life; to add value. I know that sounds too simple, but its been my experience over and over again that people who have a desire to be on purpose also want to add value to our world, they seem to go hand in hand. I then developed a personal brand that was all about quality, initiative, and consistency. I devotedly attended to defining and refining my self- exploration, which essentially revealed my true value.

I Began To Live A Larger Story – I confidently made the decision to live a larger story, because I knew I had dreams, desires and a healthy dose of direction. I also knew I wanted to step up and step out as a new style leader. Once I’d established where I could add value to the world and why I was the best person for that role, the rest followed naturally. Now I’m not saying its always-smooth sailing or I didn’t come face to face with a few emotional challenges. Because I did – that’s the nature of our human experience and we all know that a really good story requires plenty of colour, emotion, and texture to make it truly interesting.

So, that is how I got extremely clear on what I am here to do and how I want to spend my time; my life.

Elizabeth Ellames

What about you, have you made some valuable distinctions about your brand?

Real Deal Power

Slide10Many female leaders mistakenly try to balance the shortcomings of dominant leadership by “over-relying” on their passive leadership tools such as empathy and collaboration. But getting people together to figure out what their Primary Vision is and what it needs, can easily lead to more confusion.

It can also weaken the power of women who may be misplacing their emotional intelligence when it’s their practical intelligence that will really make the difference.

However, a new style leader needs to demonstrate their Real Deal Power and cut through the confusion by constantly “simplifying the complexities” that are presented.

  • She is able to articulate the big picture and the necessary priorities using an array of simple directive statements, not commands or demands, but rather discerning and objective distinctions.
  • She always links her actions to the urgent needs of the project at hand and the culture of the company or team.
  • She can articulate the strategic plans of the project as clearly as a CEO.
  • She states what must be done immediately and has a question such as, “Does it make sense to you all that we replace our program development reviews with short, biweekly feedback sessions since people need a constant flow of coaching to stay focused on emerging priorities?”

And it’s wise to remember not to open any of these clarifying questions with a “Why”, because this can often imply that there is a level of judgment present and may bring about even more confusion.

Slide14This technique of making recommendations in the form of a question consistently raises her position of effective power. Her questions frame the discussion and contain compelling “if-then and what next” logic. It also helps her not fall into the trap of either complaining about or insisting on a change she wants to make.

This technique is not trivial.

There is plenty of research that confirms when women try to exert power using the same techniques as dominant males they actually reduce their power and influence and become labeled as “overly aggressive or worse…”

To sum it up, if we want to increase our power girls, we need to simplify confusion, clarify priorities, and lead people to follow us by asking them the appropriate “what’s next” or “where next” questions.

Above all adopt a real deal leadership approach. Don’t wait for orders and don’t spend your life trying to achieve other people’s goals.

Your ideas and goals are more than likely the Real Deal… So, You Go Girl!

Oh yeah… Its Christmas

Well it is that time of the year again… Christmas.

Some people love it, others hate it and others just do it.

Which category do you fall under?

I like to view my Christmas as a sacred time, a time to celebrate all I have achieved in terms of correcting and transforming my life.

The Christmas Tree in our home is likened to the Tree of Life and its decorations are seen as symbolic gestures, which mark different eras in our time together as a family. The trimming of the tree and making the Christmas Pudding are a tradition that are always upheld with much delight.

Of course both of these practices are common place in many homes, and can often lose meaning, so for me I feel it is important to add our own family culture to the mix. We can slip into the empty habit of just doing a job and moving on to the next task at hand. That is indeed the way of our busy world. But Christmas marks a time in the year to truly create, celebrate and contribute.

I encourage you to embrace Christmas with delight:

Create the space in your life to be creative.

Celebrate and share the joy in your heart with your family, friends and community.

Contribute in ways that add value, come to the table with a gift that really counts; your “generosity of spirit”. It is worth so much more than anything you can buy. Start a heartfelt conversation and initiate acts of kindness where judgement would usually be.

These simple unity based principles are what Christmas is really about… The birth of the Holy Child is alive in every human being. And Christmas is a wonderful time to celebrate our life together as children of our Holy Mother, Planet Earth.

We can be restful and respectful as we unite, and in this sacred union we are reminded that we are The Holy Family.

And would like to also add that the video below of Happy Christmas by John and Yoko was released in 1971 – And we do indeed need to be living the mantra “war is over, if you want it!”.

Time and change are our constant reminder that nothing stays the same. They bring home the heartfelt memories of what really matter to us in our life.

May PEACE be your heartfelt intention this Christmas and everyday. We can use our collective consciousness to create PEACE, before we charge our glasses and say Merry Christmas, perhaps we could share a heart to heart prayer for real PEACE on EARTH.

I choose to be the REAL DEAL this Christmas and Unite My Light where ever I can for PEACE….

Are you connected?

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Create COMMUNITY

Community is where you build your style of leadership. It is through your community that you see how your vision and talents as a new style leader benefit others. By creating a community you are enrolling others to support your leadership and vision as well as their own.

Community needs leadership.

Is life meant to be soft, hard or fun?

#2: Express COURAGE

Don’t wait to feel courageous. Act courageously even when you feel it the least. Only when you act in the face of fear do you validate your true bravery and boldness. Be audacious in accepting challenges. Calculate your risks to help reduce apprehension, then defy your fear and step forward.

Courage Cultivates Leadership.

 

TEL : 040 330 9696
elizabeth.ellames@ozemail.com.au

Experience the Experience

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When my boys were young, like most children they developed the practice of wanting to share their new experiences. Be it drawing, riding a bike, climbing trees or skateboarding…. They wanted their Dad and I to share in their newfound experience.

In a way they were saying, “I’m here, I exist, I want to be seen and heard… I want to experience being experienced by you.” And as human beings, we never really lose that. Because we actually grow from the experience of being experienced.

We might be more sophisticated about how we do it or say it, but ultimately we want to let the world know that we are here and that we matter.

If we are promoting a product or service and are asking for people’s money or precious time — we must first see and value who they are. We need to know them as well as we know our self, as well as we know our family and friends.

We must master the art of identifying our clients/audience needs and then express and address those needs with absolute clarity.

Abraham Maslow the American psychologist share this many years ago. He was best known for creating Maslow’s Hierarchy Of Needs, a theory of psychological health, which suggested that the fulfilling of innate human needs in priority… resulted in self-actualization.

What follows is an adapted version from a branding point of view. Our brand needs to meet the needs of our audience; our tribe. It’s that simple! We need to identify three components of that understanding:

Desires – Recognition – Beliefs.

Theses elements – Desire, Recognition, and Beliefs are the three parts of your audience’s mind, which are the raw materials you work with to truly serve your audience and add value to their life.

First… DESIRE

When we are young children what we want makes up a large part of who we are. And of course, that doesn’t stop being true when we become an adult.

Desires have tremendous driving power and are always present. You cannot create them, diminish them or battle them. But we can expand them, sharpen them, channel them and give them a focus. To see your audience clearly, to hear the first signs of “Pick me, See me… I’m over here.”  We need to recognize what they need in order to feel valued.

What does your product or service provide your audience, which they actually want?

But it doesn’t stop there.

Second… RECOGNITION 

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And recognition can be even more powerful than raw desire. Each of us as human beings has a deep need to know where we belong. And when we don’t, we become uncomfortable and will do anything to correct that feeling.

What about tribes?

What role do we play… and what role do we want to play? How do others see us, and how do we see ourselves? Your brand is everything you communicate about your product or service, which means what you do counts more than what you say — because this is where the real point of connection is created.

Who does your product or service allow your audience to be?

I really love this question… I think it’s brilliant! This is where your audience decides, “Is this product or service something I would choose to identify with … or not?”

 Finally… BELIEF/VALUES

Slide10

If you want to see your audience or potential audience —respond with, Yes.. I See You Clearly! — connecting your beliefs/values is the best way to do that. Recognition was the primary driver of marketing in the 20th century, but it is belief/values that are the biggest driver today.

Currently, everything you do is transparent (because of the web) remember that you are communicating your beliefs through everything you do. The Real Deal motto around branding is… we are what we share and we share if we care.

What are the beliefs/values that formed your product or service?

Are you speaking to an audience that shares those beliefs/values?

If you want to influence… you must connect first. Yes… our audience is now serious grown-ups… But that small child inside them still has deep desires and a need for recognition. Good business is built on good relationships and good relationships form a sound community and there you have it – A TRIBE!

  • Demonstrating what you believe in will make that unbreakable connection.
  • Show them the role they can play and the tribe they can belong to.
  • Let them know that you can give them what they want.

Show your audience that you see them — you recognize, respect and reference them… and let them know that they are in the right place.

CONTACT ME TODAY

Tel 040 330 9696

elizabeth.ellames@ozemail.com.au

 

 

Moving from Me to We

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As we lift the veil of separation among women, what do we see?

Unfortunately, the first thing we see is fear, fear of loss, fear of control and fear of being left behind. We are in conflict with our self, we have fought for our liberation and here in the west, I believe we have achieved it. We are socially liberated but on the level of consciousness, we are not. We are still trying to find what our true liberty means, which of course comes from our inner belief systems. We now suffer from our internal conditioning rather than external conditions. It’s time to set our self free, free from all the behaviors our ancestral grandmother’s adopted in order to survive, these thought processes no longer serve us, its time to grant our self true freedom.

Is it time for women to stop competing for position and unite?

We are more than ready to bring forth the New Woman, our souls want to connect heart to heart and together dream a brand new day. The way of the past has weighed heavy on our hearts and we didn’t really know what was causing it. I believe the constant threat of competition has caused most of the destructive family and social behaviors among women. Today we have many choices and opportunities that bring us closer to our true potential. We know deep in our bellies that we are encoded with the power of unity. Where there is competition there is no innovation, but where there is innovation coupled with unity there is valuable momentum.

Are we responsible for our conditioned behavior?

Our conditioned behavior is an inbuilt protection system passed down from earlier generations, but now that system has become inappropriate for its environment. A bit like an old operating system on your computer, as soon as you know there is a new operating system available, everything about the old one seems to be irritating and slow. We can keep putting up with the old system or simply uploading the new one. Its all about responsibility; the ability to respond – It’s just a matter of choice and perseverance. The key for me is to keep uploading my New We Operating System. It works every time!

Are you ready to move from a ME reality to a WE reality?

Please share…

 

Goodbye to Gossip

 

Hello Integrity….. Dear old gossip has become an addiction for many women.

It is seductive and builds an unhealthy intimacy among women, which creates false security. I believe the female species will come to a place of contentment when this persistent obstacle is corrected and transformed.

Gossip is connected to these four faces of addiction.

  • boredom
  • competition
  • drama
  • low self-esteem

Realizing this is the first step to healing the addiction – from there we can choose to participate in it or not.

It is said the point of power is in the present and poor old Gossip is never in the present she is always going on about what was said or happened in the past. She weaves her words for the purpose of separation, which create a divide in friendships, family and community.

Gossip keeps everyone small and is always driven by fear. Women have relied on gossip to define their position in society and culture for centuries, but it is not necessary anymore. Women now have the opportunity to rise up out of this unproductive damaging behavior and create a new and prosperous culture for all women.

Gossip is a shadow deity whose time and face has come to an end. She has upgraded to the face of “Integrity”, who is evolving into the New Woman, the New Humanity and therefore there is no place for these old behaviors.

I say it is time to put our temptation to spread rumors to bed and start being more creative with our female conversations, after all, we are extremely creative beings.

For the record, the gossip on me is “why does she always have to be… so in ya’ face” well my response to that is – at least it’s to your face and not behind your back and bitchin’ in the kitchen so to speak.

Guess it all started with that wicked old queen in the story of Snow White who’s famous last words were “Mirror, Mirror on the wall who’s the fairest of them all” now she had a serious bitchin’ addiction.

Hope you can take this refreshing idea into your relationships and watch them bloom into something far greater than girly catch ups.

 

Living With Desire

 

It’s imperative that we bring forth our soul’s greatest desires.

Our life is a gift not to be squandered and if we pick only one true heartfelt desire to achieve in our outer world and only one heartfelt desire to achieve in our inner world, we can aid in the betterment of the whole world. In fact, if it changes us individually for the better it most defiantly will change the world because after all we are all connected by the Divine Web of Creation.

You might ask, “Why is this important?” It is because desire is the spark that ignites the flame of your soul and illuminates your innate creativity, imagination, and vision. Through your pure, heartfelt intention you will summon one of the most powerful agents of change in the universe—Desire.

So imagine if we really got cooking and accessed all our creativity and heartfelt desires – perhaps we really could create world peace.

In its purest form, your soul’s desire is a magnet pulling you toward the life you want to live. Your desires will source you with the inspiration to release your outdated beliefs and let go of whatever behavior is keeping you stuck in the past.

Your soul’s desires compel you to grow, evolve and move closer to your highest potential. Beneath the surface of your ego’s insatiable cravings, your authentic desires are waiting patiently for you to recognize, declare and communicate them.

My passion and quest are this – I am committed to raising self-esteem in women, young children, young women and the men in their life – I see an urgent need to ignite hidden desires and to help people step aboard the creative flow of life.

Joyously lifting them up from a mundane material world to a place of purpose and full expression.

I see that many young people have lost the ability to be creative – they’ve been born into a world where life has been presented to them by the means of “whatʼs in it for me?” and sadly when one comes from a place of constantly taking, they lose sight of whatʼs real and have no vision or more seriously they don’t develop the ability to give of themselves creatively.

Of course, it is not only our youth, but we also have been spoon feed information now for a couple of decades and have forgotten what it is like to explore and play in the realm of our imagination, in some ways we have forgotten how to really think, play and feel. Finding one’s self is more than a little personal development, it is a journey into the extraordinary fabric of the unseen worlds and the ability to bring back the treasures you found there.

Itʼs the ability to bring them back to our world and develop them for the greater good of all.

That is what a true Artisan, Visionary or Leader is – they are not afraid to be different, they don’t ask whatʼs in it for me, they are jubilant and thrilled to live their life with passion and conviction. They know how great it feels to be in flow with all that is and to use the time that they have been given wisely and to the best of their ability.

I am not saying that the information age and globalization has been entirely bad but sometimes when there is so much to choose from we choose nothing or just take what we are told we need.

What if this is the Humanitarian Age!

I invite you to share what your real deal passions and desires are in your life?