Create A New Story Of Sisterhood

Re-Post from 2012

Here is my personal story of surrender – it is a story that demonstrates the power of surrender and how every thought, action and word contributes to the social and spiritual fabric of our world.

On the morning of Sep 11th 2001 – I walked in to my youngest sons bedroom to see him witnessing the horror of the twin towers falling – he said “Mum look the US is being attacked.” I sat on the bed with him in disbelief – I wasn’t sure if it was real or not. Once I had come to terms with the fact that it was real – I then asked my self “who am I in conflict with, who is it that I need to make peace with right now.”

I knew at some level – however small, I had contributed to this madness – immediately a woman’s name came to mind, it was someone I had often been judgmental about. In that moment I handed it all to God, I said “I offer this to you God – I totally release this conflict within me and will be aware of my words from this moment on, I offer this to you to be healed.”

That morning I took my husband to the airport for work, both of us still in a state of shock. On the way back from the airport I thought I would visit St Peters Cathedral – which has a beautiful area at the back of the cathedral called The Lady Chapel. I had often visited The Lady Chapel – it is a wonderful place for women to go to when they need a little comfort and shelter from the harshness of the world.

I walked in to the chapel to find only one other person there – it was her – the woman I needed to make peace with. There we were both in the same place, at the same time, doing the same thing. She had her eyes closed, so I gently put my hand on her lap and whispered her name. She looked up at me and said so sweetly, “I thought you were The Madonna”. I smiled, made eye contact and moved on to enter my silence and be with my God. I will never forget the gift I was given that day – It was so powerful.

I tell that story often because it confirms to others and to myself the enormous power of synchronicity, I have no doubt that my experience that day was a direct message and blessing from GOD. I was given a gift; a wake up call, to get on with the work that I needed to do while here on our beautiful jewel, planet Earth.

The New Story Of Sisterhood starts with a chapter called “Surrender”.

Lets surrender up the old, so called sister story of competition, jealousy, she said, I said, what about, I hate it when and so on. Let’s say NO I don’t want to support or tell that old story anymore. The number one key to creating a new story is being prepared to let go of the old one. This is how I do it; I say to myself “give it up, give it up, give it up”. I surrender my life to the nature of God and I am free, I am free to be me.

As we confidently embrace our liberation as New Women, we can use this opportunity to connect with each other at a whole new level. We can start a new story that speaks of encouragement and tenderness toward each other as sisters. The sisters that went before us courageously made way for our liberation. Now it is up to us to truly embrace our present day sisters with our hearts wide open, proudly knowing they are our support team. I encourage you to stand naked in your truth and liberate your self some more. You have been born into a time like no other, don’t waste a second of your liberty sisters. Speak from your heart, walk tall and know that from your own personal liberty, you are helping to raise the self esteem of other women.

Our time here on earth is sacred and only a blink in the vastness of the cosmos. We are all blessed with many gifts and as we honor them in each other our power and beauty grows. Idle gossip and control tactics wont add value to any situation – our time here on earth is to love each other and express our individual passions. So let’s go forth with love and light in our hearts, bless the world with our many gifts and create a new story of sisterhood.

I invite you to share your ideas on what our new story may look like and how it is coming alive in your own life.

Real Deal Power

Slide10Many female leaders mistakenly try to balance the shortcomings of dominant leadership by “over-relying” on their passive leadership tools such as empathy and collaboration. But getting people together to figure out what their Primary Vision is and what it needs, can easily lead to more confusion.

It can also weaken the power of women who may be misplacing their emotional intelligence when it’s their practical intelligence that will really make the difference.

However, a new style leader needs to demonstrate their Real Deal Power and cut through the confusion by constantly “simplifying the complexities” that are presented.

  • She is able to articulate the big picture and the necessary priorities using an array of simple directive statements, not commands or demands, but rather discerning and objective distinctions.
  • She always links her actions to the urgent needs of the project at hand and the culture of the company or team.
  • She can articulate the strategic plans of the project as clearly as a CEO.
  • She states what must be done immediately and has a question such as, “Does it make sense to you all that we replace our program development reviews with short, biweekly feedback sessions since people need a constant flow of coaching to stay focused on emerging priorities?”

And it’s wise to remember not to open any of these clarifying questions with a “Why”, because this can often imply that there is a level of judgment present and may bring about even more confusion.

Slide14This technique of making recommendations in the form of a question consistently raises her position of effective power. Her questions frame the discussion and contain compelling “if-then and what next” logic. It also helps her not fall into the trap of either complaining about or insisting on a change she wants to make.

This technique is not trivial.

There is plenty of research that confirms when women try to exert power using the same techniques as dominant males they actually reduce their power and influence and become labeled as “overly aggressive or worse…”

To sum it up, if we want to increase our power girls, we need to simplify confusion, clarify priorities, and lead people to follow us by asking them the appropriate “what’s next” or “where next” questions.

Above all adopt a real deal leadership approach. Don’t wait for orders and don’t spend your life trying to achieve other people’s goals.

Your ideas and goals are more than likely the Real Deal… So, You Go Girl!

Goodbye to Gossip

 

Hello Integrity….. Dear old gossip has become an addiction for many women.

It is seductive and builds an unhealthy intimacy among women, which creates false security. I believe the female species will come to a place of contentment when this persistent obstacle is corrected and transformed.

Gossip is connected to these four faces of addiction.

  • boredom
  • competition
  • drama
  • low self-esteem

Realizing this is the first step to healing the addiction – from there we can choose to participate in it or not.

It is said the point of power is in the present and poor old Gossip is never in the present she is always going on about what was said or happened in the past. She weaves her words for the purpose of separation, which create a divide in friendships, family and community.

Gossip keeps everyone small and is always driven by fear. Women have relied on gossip to define their position in society and culture for centuries, but it is not necessary anymore. Women now have the opportunity to rise up out of this unproductive damaging behavior and create a new and prosperous culture for all women.

Gossip is a shadow deity whose time and face has come to an end. She has upgraded to the face of “Integrity”, who is evolving into the New Woman, the New Humanity and therefore there is no place for these old behaviors.

I say it is time to put our temptation to spread rumors to bed and start being more creative with our female conversations, after all, we are extremely creative beings.

For the record, the gossip on me is “why does she always have to be… so in ya’ face” well my response to that is – at least it’s to your face and not behind your back and bitchin’ in the kitchen so to speak.

Guess it all started with that wicked old queen in the story of Snow White who’s famous last words were “Mirror, Mirror on the wall who’s the fairest of them all” now she had a serious bitchin’ addiction.

Hope you can take this refreshing idea into your relationships and watch them bloom into something far greater than girly catch ups.

 

Real Deal Men and Women

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Is evolution handing the reins over to women?

If we lift the veil on our Planet… what do we see right now?

The dominant profit-over-people systems are going through major breakdowns. Humanity’s 5,000-year abuse of power and masculine/feminine imbalance is coming to an end. People are waking up to a new wave of consciousness.

How do we deal with this change?

First, we need to disconnect from the emotional entanglement of the old. Then recognize that we are at the end of a cycle, which is what we need to do in order for the new to be born.

How do we facilitate this new way of being in the world?

The old way has conditioned women to feel powerless. But their nature, in fact, has always been powerful. Women have the ability to access power from the depths of their intuition, they hold within their bodies a great creative potential, and can exercise power through a balanced open heart. Women know how to connect, for they are the masters of emotion.

Women innately have the power of creation within them.

At present women are being asked to stand strong. Not to stand against something, but to stand up and be REAL DEAL women. On their own, women can’t heal the violation of our planet or bring peace to the whole world. But every woman willing to direct her passion, mission, heart’s desire, life’s work can facilitate the change we need. Together we can create a new story for humanity, one where a woman stands strong in their true leadership potential.

The old way has caused women to compete against each other. It is time for women to throw off their conditioning, reach out to each other, and collaborate. Collectively standing in their power creates connection and with this increase of Unity, the old power structures will fall away.

Is it time for women to stop asking for permission and time to start asking for support?

The New Woman is bringing forth the New Man; at the moment men have a very different task also, which is to reclaim the power of their heart. They too are experiencing this new and often challenging transformation, which is forcing us to respect each other even more. Their role is to increasingly honor women while they go about their life purpose and to honor their own male process and responses, which is being activated by the emerging feminine power that is upon us.

So what does the future hold?

Who really knows, but what we can do is focus on what works, as the old ways change for the better and make way for a new way of being… women and men alike—have a window of opportunity: the opportunity to dream a new world rooted in the energy of a higher heart, the souls calling, the balance of the feminine/masculine that is created through the gift of revere, recognition and respect.

There is no question that a new world will emerge. The only question is: What part do we want to play in it?

Are you ready to be a REAL DEAL man and woman?

Do you always live your life in the present moment?

Can you identify and communicate your story and your brand clearly?

REAL DEAL productions have been created for the purpose of helping men and women to identify, clarify, specify, edify and unify their purpose-based brand. The clearer you are around your time, energy and purpose the more value you can contribute to your own life and the lives of others.

Elizabeth Ellames 

 

Generousity Of Spirit

Little child plays superhero. Kid on the background of sunset sky. Girl power concept

Over the last few months, I had the privilege of participating in a very powerful process with the Unite Your Light WOMEN team; It was the process of writing one version of my life story.

I introduced a very specific tool for us to use as we journeyed through our stories, which actually provided deep and comprehensive results, much more than I ever imagined.

As a personal development facilitator for more than 20 years, I have done many transformative processes, but this would have to be the most profoundly natural and liberating experience I have ever participated in.

The revisiting of my former SELF in the form of my own story was a rewarding and very specific inner exploration. The repeated meeting of my SELF at various stages of my life was extremely healing and empowering. – It organically allowed my SPIRIT, step by step, to come forth and reveal its true nature to my present SELF. Ultimately, the old concept of SELF-faded and what remained was the true VALUE of my delicate but victorious feminine Spirit…

In the process, I shifted from being just OK about the value of my vocation to a place of being totally grounded and responsible about what my true value actually is. As I moved through this natural process of empowerment I could feel a real sense of unquestionable spiritual maturity growing.

I could actually feel my value growing within me.

I had fought hard for my life more than once, and it soon became clear to me that my efforts in this lifetime had been victorious for a reason. I had indeed overcome my own suffering in order to empower other women, so they could become the leaders of their own life and become the new style leaders we need in the world. My tests had been heroic for a reason and now my true value was paving the way for me to serve my much-loved planet.

My SPIRIT had always been my guiding star and here it was again shining its light on my true value as a woman.

I learned that I need not worry about what others think of me, because it’s only those who resonate with my message, my story and my values that will pay attention anyway.

Now when I create and offer my services I ask myself…”Who would this be of VALUE to?” then I create the appropriate strategy toward serving those women. It is what I deeply value that adds value to another person’s life.

I learned that my ‘Generosity Of Spirit’ is the most valuable gift I can offer another human being.

Here is an exquisite example of my experience expressed through the beautiful voice of Diana Ross… Enjoy

If We Hold On Together

Don’t lose your way
with each passing day
You’ve come so far
Don’t throw it away
Live believing
Dreams are for weaving
Wonders are waiting to start
Live your story
Faith, hope, and glory
Hold to the truth in your heart

If we hold on together
I know our dreams will never die
Dreams see us through to forever
Where clouds roll by, for you and I

Souls in the wind
Must learn how to bend
Seek out a star
Hold on to the end

Valley…Mountain
There is a fountain
Washes our tears all away
Words are swaying
Someone is praying
Please let us come home to stay

If we hold on together
I know our dreams will never die
Dreams see us through to forever
Where clouds roll by
For you and I

When we are out there in the dark
We’ll dream about the sun
In the dark, we’ll feel the light
Warm our hearts…everyone

If we hold on together
I know our dreams will never die
Dreams see us through to forever
As high as souls can fly
The clouds roll by
For you and I

The Four Key Elements Of The Change Agent

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Here are the 4 key elements of the Change Agent for those of you who may be thinking – “Am I a Change Agent, Change Make or perhaps even a Social Entrepreneur?”

What is a Change Agent or a Social Entrepreneur?

They are the New Style Leaders who are motivated by a desire to help, improve and transform social, environmental, educational and economic conditions. Key traits and characteristics of highly effective new style leaders/social entrepreneurs include ambition and a lack of acceptance of the status quo or accepting the world “as it is”. The new style leader is driven by an emotional desire to address some of the big social and economic conditions in the world, for example, poverty and educational deprivation, rather than by the desire for only making a profit. New-style leaders seek to develop innovative solutions to global problems that can be copied by others to enact change. New Style Leaders act within a market aiming to create social value through the improvement of goods and services offered to the community. Their main aim is to offer a better service, improving the community as a whole and is predominately run as non-profit schemes.

A Change Agent lives life with vision and action. Regardless of what is going on today, a change agent has a vision of what could or should be and uses that as the governing sense of action. To a certain extent, a change agent is dissatisfied with what they see around them, in favor of a much better vision of the future. Without this future drive, the change agent can lose their way.

A Change Agent is fueled by passion and inspires passion in others. Change is hard work and takes a lot of energy. Don’t underestimate this. In my experience, without passion, it is very difficult indeed to muster up enough energy to breakdown the stronghold of the status quo.

A Change Agent has a strong ability to self-motivate. There will be many days where everyone around does not understand and will not offer props. The change agent needs to find it within themselves to get up every day and come to work and risk being misunderstood and unappreciated, knowing that the real validation may be far in the future and maybe claimed by someone else.

A Change Agent knows change is understanding people. Because at the end of the day, change is about people. If you change everything but the people, you are not an effective change agent. Change will really “stick” when people embrace it. Therefore, change is part sales, part counseling and part encouragement. It’s all about people. Today’s most powerful avenue for the Change Agent is in the areas of Social Enterprise, Arts, Media, Technology and above all Community.

So if this is you come and join our Community… We are a New Style Community for New Style Leaders 🙂

 

Taking Care Of Business

 

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I attended a business seminar, which was very powerful in terms of reminding me that I am not my business, but rather I am the CEO, GUARDIAN or PARENT of my business and it is my RESPONSIBILITY to take care of it in the appropriate manner.

Wilson Luna uses the analogy of your business being like your child, it is vulnerable in its early stages of development.

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What follows is my new version on how to take better care of MY BUSINESS – Incorporating it with the child parallel.

1. My BUSINESS (child) was born from me, but I am not my BUSINESS (child).

2. My BUSINESS (child) will definitely inherit some of my GIFTS and VALUES.

3. I RESPECT and VALUE the TIME I spend with my BUSINESS (child).

4. I am very MINDFUL what nourishment I provide to my BUSINESS (child).

5. I am also MINDFUL of how I manage and correct my BUSINESS (child).

6. When I don’t know what to do – I ASK – someone with more experience what to do for my BUSINESS (child).

7. I make sound decisions that will create a future/legacy for my BUSINESS (child).

8. I don’t leave my BUSINESS (child) in the care of others who don’t understand, respect or be kind to my BUSINESS (child).

A BUSINESS goes through different stages of development just as a child does and it needs a lot of support as it grows.

Again the BUSINESS (child) will grow according to its environment its like this – it needs support from its GUARDIAN, FAMILY, COMMUNITY and HUMANITY – that is how it can grow and become a VALUABLE CONTRIBUTION in the world.

We can be very irresponsible bringing up children and are the same with our business.

The parallels around raising a CHILD and raising a BUSINESS are amazing !!

Panning for GOLD

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Objectively –

meaning: using facts and not influenced by personal feelings or beliefs: 

impartially, neutrally, fairly, justly, without prejudice, with an open mind, equitably, without fear or favour, even-handedly, without bias – to view a situation objectively.

 A pile of nice shiny gold bars

So often we suffer over troubling situations, we go over and over what we could say to this person or that. We think up all sorts of scenarios of how they should or could be. We relentlessly try to come up with ways to control outcomes. We create enormous stories in our mind that can last for decades, which in most cases wont make one ounce of difference, except for depleting our energy levels and taking up our time.

I have come up with a very quick and effective tool for dealing with situations that are in emotional entanglement. I call it “panning for GOLD”.
It is a 6 step process that goes like this…
  • Decide to view the situation objectively. 
  • Take all the names, relationships and who did what out of the situation.
  • What are the facts that are present?
  • Wait for a moment for the unwanted matter to fall away in your mind.
  • Allow the truth to come to the surface.
  • What is left is only the GOLD of the situation.

Here is an example…

A friend asks you over for dinner, they don’t give you a time of arrival. When you phone to make arrangements they don’t answer your calls. Last time you went to their place for a meal they had been drinking all day and forgot you were coming. You feel very uncomfortable about the whole situation, you do care about this person and are worried about their drinking, but you don’t want to get stuck at their place hungry and angry again.

Let’s GOLD pan this situation…

  • This person clearly isn’t reliable.
  • Evaluate the situation – is this a friendship or a co-dependency?
  • If I want to remain friends, I will need to call the shots.
  • Is this my problem?
  • Remove myself from the emotional entanglement.
  • The gift here is that I have repeatedly witnessed the history … and can now stop participating in it.

The gold in this particular experience is very clear – there is always a CHOICE POINT.

Try this tool of empowerment in your life and see if you can strike some GOLD!!

Beauty is Balance

I believe true beauty is revealed to us when there is a combination of natural elements that are brought in to play. It is either an encounter of nature’s raw but pure presence or it can be the splendour of something or someone in an authentic or natural state. Beauty is also enhanced or created by the craftsmanship of an artist’s hand, eye, heart and soul.

I also believe that beauty is built through the way we interact in relationships. This sacred combination of love and trust also brings about another facet of beauty in our life and in us. It is when we feel loved and safe in relationships that we are able to know and really touch the beauty that rests deep in the hearts of others and ourself. This encounter builds a confidence in our personal presence and hence creates again something of beauty.

I see beauty as an astonishing but illusive phenomenon. I believe its magic and its mystery resides in the absolute balance and harmony of life its self.
Beauty is life’s exquisite expressions delivered with perfect precision.

So why is beauty so important to us…?

True Love invites the heart but it is True Beauty that invites the Soul and the Soul needs to be nourished with beauty everyday in order for us to grow into our own beauty as a human being. A person without the ability to feel, speak, see or create things of beauty is missing in the quintessential spirit of life its self.
Beauty signifies Balance in our world and by creating balance in our relationships; in our health and in our creative expression we bring about an order of sanctity.

We love the experience of beauty because it reminds us of heaven; it demonstrates that we can create a little of heaven here on earth and because of this simple but glorious notion we are given the gift of Hope.

Hope for a better world where true beauty is rightfully respected and we are all free to shine and create and heal what ever is out of balance. A world that is full of so much beauty; so much balance that we are taken into a new wave of evolution.

This is the world I choose to live in.
This is the world of sublime beauty.

What is Beauty to you?